“What you do,” she said, “is invent relationships with the dead you never had when they were living.
Orson Scott Card's Speaker for the Dead introduces a type of funeral that avoids this. Basically, the Speaker for the Dead is hired to investigate all of the deceased's life and then speak at the funeral and reveal the person for who they truly are. It is painful and honest and one of the best ways to say goodbye.
Somewhere I read that Orson Scott Card hopes someone will "Speak" his funeral. That would be fascinating to see.
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