"I suppose it’s a comfort, perhaps a sense of self-control, doing worse damage to yourself than the world will ever dare inflict."
Ah, yes.
One of the most effective and self-destructive defense mechanisms out there. One of my favorites too.
If I crap all over my self-esteem, what can you do to me? Nothing!
It's funny because it also makes one incredibly arrogant.
If you can't hurt me, I must be confident! If I'm confident, I must be awesome! Otherwise I wouldn't be so confident!
This is why there are monumental douche bags running around, puffed up and hollow, who are impervious to criticism and abuse.
Maybe this is why read books, watch Emmy award winning TV, read Wikipedia's article of the day and watch movies. It must all an attempt to fill the puffy hollowness before someone finds the right weapon to puncture the defense and expose the naked little pretender hiding inside my head.
In Disarm, the song by Smashing Pumpkins there is the line, "I used to be a little boy." It's a great line. Everyone used to be a little boy. Then they stopped being a little boy because they hit puberty and their voice started to crack. Now they are young men and we all know young men are people who are expected to act like grown men.
But we don't really grow up. We do, but not really. Deep down inside, we're waiting to be found out. None of us have a clue.
Except for Oscar winners and people who only work because they want to. Those people have it figured out.
You know. Spielberg, Trump and Oprah.
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