Henderson the Rain King by Saul Bellow #3

"A hit B? B hit C?—we have not enough alphabet to cover the condition. A brave man will try to make the evil stop with him."

I believe this is the job of any parent or future parent. Be a little better than your parents were, even if it a slight improvement.

Leave better kids behind to make the world a little bit more awesome.

I'm always amazed by people who break the cycles of whatever plagues their families. Good for them.

Children in China have it rough. Their whole culture is geared around them making their parents happy, which far too often leaves them miserable. Until they have kids and they can inflict the same curse upon them. Everyone is living vicariously through their children and it's crippling.

I know it's not unique only to China, but it's more pervasive here.

I was speaking with a girl who is a lesbian. Her parents knew her orientation but they were trying to marry her off to a military guy anyway, and he didn't know. The girl was too scared to tell him because it might upset her parents. And she also knew this guy wasn't going to be gentle.

She was quietly devastated and didn't know what to do.

I asked her if it would be worth it, to make her parents happy even if it ruined her entire life. She said, "Yes."

Fortunately for her, her parents finally changed their minds and didn't make her get married. That's a more drastic example but it's not unusual for kids to hide their own happiness or pain to make sure their parents are happy. But the parents insist they only want what's best for their offspring and only they know what that is.

Cheating spouses are rampant in China. It makes Don Draper look faithful. But it's slowly starting to make sense to me. The more I get to know married people and hear the horror stories they tell the more and more I understand it.

Parents are to marriages what termites are to a log cabin. It's impossible to have a private life that isn't under Mr. and Mrs. Geller-Upon-Monica like scrutiny. The only way to have a relationship without the involvement of Mom and Dad is to have a relationship they don't know about.

(Yeah I made a Friends reference)

No, that isn't the only reason people in China cheat, but I'm starting to see how it has certain advantages.

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